Listen to Joan speak her wonderings
It’s one week since I received the call from my physician informing me that yes, the lump I felt in my left breast is mammary carcinoma and yes it has invaded the axcillary lymph node under my arm.
The week has been filled with connecting with people and service providers. Thank you all for your help in facilitating getting appointments that otherwise would be impossible, only one week after diagnosis.
Yesterday was a day of consulting with surgeons, oncologists and radiologists. I am awake now, about 3:30 in the morning, and am wondering…
Will the calm, peacefulness I am experiencing now disappear when my hair starts falling out from chemotherapy?
Will the strength that courses through my being wane when the surgeon cuts away the cancer?
Will I surrender as I am now when I am weakened by pain?
My very practical husband reminds me, this is all fantasy until the treatment begins and the surgery ensues.
Will I be able to be the greatness I want to be when the journey really begins?
These wonderings float through the depth of my being in the quietness of the night.